


I'd Rather Swim Ashore

by LittleQueenTrashMouth



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Canon Compliant, During Canon, Ember Island (Avatar), Gaang (Avatar), Gen, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, please make the grunion run a fic genre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:02:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24953482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleQueenTrashMouth/pseuds/LittleQueenTrashMouth
Summary: Squinting in the dim light of the moon, the group stepped closer to the shoreline, watching as a wave of silvery, wriggling, slithering shapes spilled onto the sand. All along the coast, as far as they could see in either direction, were…“Fish!” Sokka shrieked. “They’re fish! They’re coming up on the beach!”***Zuko shares a family tradition with the Gaang at the Ember Island beach house, and remembers a time when his family was actually happy.
Relationships: Aang & Toph Beifong & Katara & Sokka & Suki & Zuko, The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 541
Collections: avatar tingz





	I'd Rather Swim Ashore

_(A gentle hand shook him awake, and Zuko sat up with a start. He rubbed at his sleep-encrusted eyes with one fist, squinting at the blurry figure that stood over him._

_“Mom?”_

_“Shh, it’s okay, Zuko,” his mother said softly, holding out a hand for him to grab. “I have something amazing to show you.”_

_“What time is it?” he mumbled, obediently taking his mother’s hand and hopping out of bed. It was still dark out, though the light of the full moon dimly lit up his room._

_“Midnight,” his mother answered, helping him into a warm robe before leading him out of the room. His cousin was standing outside the door, yawning and stretching out his arms. “Lu Ten, why don’t you take Zuko out to the beach while I wake up Azula?”_

_Lu Ten nodded obediently, grinning down at his younger cousin. “Sounds good! Come on bud.” He led Zuko outside, across the porch, down the stairs of the beach house, to the white sand. Zuko experimentally dug his toes into the sand, enjoying how cool it felt compared to during the day. It wasn’t his first time on the beach, but it was their first time on Ember Island. His mother had explained that the property that they had just bought was where she used to vacation when_ she _was little, and that the beach house was a gift from Father. Zuko would never say so out loud, but he thought it was terribly romantic._

_A warm hand fell onto his shoulder, and Zuko looked up to see his mother standing behind him, cradling his baby sister in her other arm. For this first vacation, both Father and Uncle had been too busy to come, so it was just the four of them. Zuko didn’t really mind; he preferred spending time with his mother more than anyone else._

_“What are we doing?” he asked, trying to look more alert than he felt. It seemed like such a grown-up thing, waking up in the middle of the night to do something important on the beach._

_“We’re waiting for something,” his mother hummed in response. “I can’t tell you what it is yet, it’s a surprise.”_

_He contemplated that for a moment. “Okay. Can I hold LaLa?” His mother chuckled, carefully passing his half-asleep sister over to him. At three years old, she was a little big for him to comfortably cradle, but he could sit down on the sand with her nestled in his lap. Lu Ten collapsed on the beach next to them, reaching out to tickle Azula’s nose with his fingertips. Mother remained on her feet behind them, and told them to watch the waves.)_

Zuko had completely forgotten about the yearly tradition until Katara casually mentioned that it was the full moon that night. He sat bolt upright from his position sprawled on the Ember Island beach house front stairs, having finally allowed Aang to take a quick break from his firebending training.

“I have some forms I’ve been wanting to try, and I think they’ll be easier with the full moon tonight. I never sleep that well anyway—”

“Tonight’s the full moon?” he interrupted, causing the entire group to turn and look at him. 

“Yes?” Katara answered, tilting her head. “Why?”

For a moment, Zuko considered brushing it off and not saying anything. The tradition wasn’t really important, and it certainly wouldn’t help in their upcoming battle against the Fire Lord. But the thought of sleeping through it made his heart hurt, and…well, truthfully, he wanted to share it with his new friends. Most of the time, he couldn’t open up and talk about his life. Doing so was painful, both by having to relive those experiences, and because he had to see the others’ eyes fill with pity. But this was something good, something joyful, that reminded him that things hadn’t always been terrible.

“Um, well, there’s something really cool that happens here at the full moon,” he explained, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. “I can’t tell you what it is, because it might not happen, but it usually does. I mean, I haven’t been here in a while, but it always did before, and there’s no reason it wouldn’t happen again, but I guess—”

“Okay, stop spiraling, we’re in,” Sokka interjected, cutting him off. “Can you tell us where and when, or is that also a secret?” Suki elbowed him sharply, and he threw his hands up. “What? He was going around in circles, and I like surprises!”

“It’ll be here, on the beach, at midnight,” Zuko responded, somewhat grateful that the Water Tribe boy had stopped him from rambling. 

“Midnight?” Toph exclaimed. A grin spread across her face. “Hell yeah, all nighter!”

Katara crossed her arms and glared. “You should go to sleep at the normal time, it’s not good for you to stay up all night!” Toph responded to that by throwing up a middle finger in Katara’s direction. “Fuck that, I’m making that energy tea Zuko bought last week!” Zuko deliberately looked away from the reproachful glance Katara threw his way, hiding his smirk. He had bought the tea hoping that it would help stoke Aang’s inner fire, but Toph had immediately monopolized it, stating that drugs were bad for monks. Zuko repeatedly saying that there weren’t any drugs in the tea had no effect on her claims.

“Fine, all the regular people who are going to actually sleep can meet on the beach at midnight,” Sokka cut his sister off before she could say anything else about Toph’s sleeping habits. And with that, the discussion was over. Zuko couldn’t quite believe how readily everyone had agreed to wake up in the middle of the night for some mysterious purpose, just because he suggested it. It was so different from his last few weeks at the palace, where it felt like everything he said was being scrutinized and critiqued. Now that he thought about it, he had spent most of his childhood being scrutinized and critiqued; by his tutors, his firebending instructors, and his father. Something must have shown on his face, because Aang nudged him with his shoulder. “You okay?” the younger boy asked.

“Yes. Let’s get back to training, your stance needs work,” Zuko replied stiffly, rising to his feet. Undeterred by his tone, Aang lifted himself to his feet using his airbending, and Zuko couldn’t help the small smile that flickered at the corners of his mouth as the Avatar pulled him along to their training grounds, insisting that his stance was fine and they could absolutely work on something more useful.

\---

Zuko had always had problems sleeping, especially if there was anything on his mind. For the past three and a half years he had always had quite a lot on his mind (Father’s disappointment, his hunt for the Avatar, regaining his honor, etc. etc.), and he was used to not sleeping. He spent much of this night at his windowsill, staring at the full moon as it slowly rose over the horizon. He remembered the story that his friends had told about what happened at the North Pole, and he thought about the white-haired princess he had only briefly met. He wondered if she could see them, and what she thought about him joining the Avatar. He hoped that she could forgive him.

A little before their meeting time, Zuko stood up from the window, stretching his back out and wincing at the series of pops. He made his way over to his bedroom door and opened it to a small squeak of surprise. 

“Oh, you’re awake,” Katara’s startled voice rang out. She was standing in his doorway, one hand raised to knock, when Zuko had pulled the door open and almost run into her. She quickly brought her hand down and took a step back, though she didn’t seem to realize that she was still in the way. “It’s a quarter to midnight, I just wanted to make sure everyone was up in time.”

Zuko peered around Katara to see the rest of the group starting to file out of the hallway, many still yawning and stretching. “Yeah, I was awake. Thank you, though,” he added hurriedly, appreciating that she had wanted to make sure he didn’t oversleep. “It was…nice. I wasn’t expecting it.”

“I’m nice!” Katara protested, and Zuko’s eyes widened at the implication that he had accidentally insulted her. She grinned, to show she was teasing, and added, “Well, sometimes.” Relieved that he had avoided An Incident, Zuko followed everyone out of the house. Well, almost everyone. True to her word, Toph had stayed up the whole time, and was waiting for them on the beach. She had clearly been “practicing her sandbending,” which Zuko understood to be about 10% earthbending and 90% playing in sand. Sand was falling out her hair and clothes in rivers, and she had created a few sand sculptures with her bending. These included a tiny version of the beach house, a badger mole, and a life-size statue of herself. 

“Soooooo, what are we waiting for?” Sokka’s voice broke the silence. This stretch of Ember Island belonged solely to the Fire Lord, so it was completely vacant except for them. The only light came from the full moon sitting low on the water, and the single torch they had brought out to the sand. The group had sprawled out across the sand; Sokka and Suki were leaning against each other, Toph was adding a few touches to her statue of herself, Aang and Katara were sitting next to Zuko. Zuko hunched his shoulders, reaching his arms around his bent knees and clasping them to his chest.

“Well, I don’t want to ruin it, but it could happen anytime in the next few hours,” he replied. A part of him kept expecting the group to be annoyed with his vagueness, that they would snap at him for not giving them a good reason to be awake on the beach in the middle of the night. Instead, Sokka shrugged and laid down in the sand. Suki began scooping up handfuls of sand and dribbling them over his chest, and Katara went over to help with the burial process. Aang created a small fire in his palm and, with a little prodding, convinced Zuko to play catch with it, stating that it would help him master firebending. Zuko seriously doubted that, but it was fun to gently toss the small flame back and forth, seeing the Avatar giggle without any of the former fear he had of firebending.

As usual, Toph was the first one to notice what was happening. She jerked away from her statue and leapt to her feet. “There’s something coming out of the water!”

Instantly, everyone was on high alert. “What is it?” demanded Katara, her hands instinctively reaching for the water at her waist. Everybody else had jumped to their feet, eyes glued to the waves gently lapping on the shore. Zuko slowly got to his feet as well, thanking Tui and La and all the other spirits that he hadn’t wasted everybody’s time. 

“I don’t know, it feels…weird,” Toph answered, scrunching her face and leaning down to touch a hand to the cool sand. “It’s not a person, and it doesn’t even feel like an animal. It’s like…a wave? But an alive wave.” She seemed genuinely disturbed that she couldn’t immediately identify the surprise.

Squinting in the dim light of the moon, the group stepped closer to the shoreline, watching as a wave of silvery, wriggling, slithering shapes spilled onto the sand. All along the coast, as far as they could see in either direction, were…

“Fish!” Sokka shrieked. “They’re fish! They’re coming up on the beach!” 

_(Zuko stared, open-mouthed, at the mass of small silver fish that was encroaching on the sand. At first, he thought they were simply in the small waves that lapped at the shore. But no, they were flopping out of the water onto the damp sand. They were coming onto land!_

_The startled silence was interrupted by Lu Ten whooping and taking off towards the water, kicking up sand in his wake. Zuko struggled to his feet, pulling Azula up with him and holding her steady as she slowly woke up. “Come on, LaLa! There’s fish on the beach!”_

_Ursa followed him as he led Azula down to the fish, smiling down at him and gently brushing a hand through his hair. “I used to come down here to see the fish every year with my family, and I wanted to share it with you. Do you like it?”_

_“It’s wonderful!” Zuko crowed, leaning down to pick up one of the fish. “What are they doing here?”)_

“It’s the grunion run,” Zuko explained, unable to contain the relieved smile that they had showed up before everyone got annoyed with him and went to bed. “They come up on the beach at night during the full moon and lay their eggs in the sand.” He stepped forward to the edge of the wave of grunion, leaning down to gently cup one of the fish in his hand. On its own, it was fairly unremarkable; about the size of a cigar, silver and turquoise, with ribbon-like fins. It stared up at him out of one huge, glassy eye, then began thrashing around in his hand until he set it gently back down in the sand. “They don’t like beaches with a lot of lights and noise, so they avoid most of Ember Island. But since this part of the beach is private…” he trailed off, not needing to explain that not even the most adventurous teenager was sneaking onto the Fire Lord’s beach in the middle of the night.

The gang cautiously approached the water, still stunned by what they were seeing. The silence was broken by laughter and shouts as the reality of hundreds of thousands of fish coming up onto land set in. Toph had crept forward until her feet were buried in fish, although Zuko noted that she had carefully dragged her feet so she hadn’t stepped on any of them. Aang was next to her, leaning down to scoop up handfuls of the creatures. “Toph, hold out your hands,” he instructed, and the blind girl obeyed. He dropped a few fish into her outstretched palms and she gave a very un-Toph-like yelp before jerking her hands back. 

“You just surprised me, Twinkle Toes!” she yelled, punching Aang in the shoulder as he doubled up with laughter. To prove that she was absolutely not afraid of a bunch of fish, she leaned down and skimmed her hands over the surface of the school, before picking one up on her own. With surprising gentleness, she moved her hands over the small fish, a delighted grin spreading across her face. Zuko walked over to them as she leaned down and let the grunion slither out of her hands, before picking up another handful of fish.

_(Zuko had his eyes glued to the surf, counting down the minutes in his head until midnight. His father had told him that if the grunion didn’t show up before midnight, they would all have to go inside and go to bed. Zuko had begged and wheedled to have a bit more time, since the fish had shown up after midnight the previous year, but Ozai had snapped at him. Not wanting to lose the privilege of staying up late, Zuko had let it go._

_“They’re here!” he shouted as the first few fish began to worm their way up the beach. He grabbed Azula’s hand and they ran down to the water. His parents followed at a slower pace and stopped a few yards from the water. Zuko glanced over and saw that his mother was leaning on his father’s shoulder, and his arm was loosely draped around her waist. He beckoned them closer to the water, but his mother waved him off. “You two have fun, we’ll watch from here.”_

_Zuko was distracted from his parents by Azula, who had about fifteen fish clutched in her hands. “I bet I can catch more fish than you!” she taunted, and Zuko eagerly took up the challenge. Before long, they were both glittering in the moonlight, hands full of scales and fish slime.)_

“You’re covered in scales!” Aang giggled, pointing out the minuscule flecks of silver that dotted Toph’s hands and arms. She menacingly reached out towards him, but he hopped out of the way. She settled for turning to Zuko and wiping her hands on his sleeve before chasing after Aang.

Before Zuko could say anything, Suki darted past him, sprinting down the beach. She was followed closely by Katara, then Sokka, the last of whom paused to grab Zuko’s hand and tug him along. “C’mon, we’re going to see how far down the beach they go!” was all the explanation Zuko got before Sokka released him and took off running, yelling about how the girls had cheated and he had totally let them get a head start. With a laugh, Zuko took off after them, reveling in the unique pleasure of running free on the beach at night. However, running on the sand was hard work, and the other three teenagers had begun to slow down, though they still had not given up. “Loser has to clean Appa’s toes!” Sokka yelled, putting all his energy into a burst of speed that let him overtake the girls.

“No way, that’s your job!” Katara shouted, leaping into the air and tackling Sokka to the ground. 

“Ow, you dick, get off me!” Sokka sputtered, rolling around in the sand and grabbing Katara’s wrist before she could pull on his hair. Suki joined the attack, flinging herself into the squabble with glee. Zuko swerved to try to avoid them, but a hand reached out and grabbed his ankle, bringing him down to the sand. A full-on brawl commenced, although this one was full of a lot more name calling and shrieks of laughter than Zuko was used to. 

“Truce!” Katara finally gasped, struggling to get out of the headlock that Sokka had her in. Zuko was stomach down on the sand, struggling to pull himself forward with Suki stubbornly wrapped around his legs. The Kyoshi warrior was good; she had a tight enough hold that he couldn’t twist out of her grasp, and all of his attempts to do so only resulted in him flinging sand over himself. He finally gave up, letting all his limbs fall down and resting his cheek on the cool sand.

“Truce,” he agreed over the sound of Suki cackling over her victory. She let go of him and leapt to her feet in one smooth movement. Zuko braced his hands under his chest and pushed himself over so he was now on his back. Just for a second, he looked up at the stars, muted by the light of the full moon, but still breath-taking.

_(It was the last Ember Island trip before Uncle Iroh and Lu Ten were going to the Earth Kingdom. Zuko had spent much of the trip sulking, oscillating between being annoyed that he couldn’t conquer Ba Sing Se with them, and sadness that they were leaving him. They were waiting for the grunion run to start, laid out in a zig-zag pattern on the beach. Lu Ten had his head on his father’s stomach, Zuko had his head on Lu Ten, and his mother was resting on him. Zuko stared up at the stars, his small hands idly playing with his mother’s hair._

_“Come on LaLa, the sand feels nice!” Lu Ten called out to his cousin, who was stubbornly sitting on the steps of the beach house alone. Zuko privately wished that Lu Ten would just leave Azula alone; she spent every second they were together either belittling him or trying to manipulate him. Sometimes, it felt like a shadow of his father following him, making sure that Zuko felt worthless even when he wasn’t around._

_“Don’t call me that!” Azula snapped, jumping to her feet. “I don’t even know what we’re doing here, we see the stupid fish every year!”_

_“Azula!” Ursa snapped, lifting her head from Zuko’s abdomen and yanking her hair out of his reach. “We’re honoring your uncle and cousin before they go to the Earth Kingdom to defend the Fire Nation, and we are doing it as a family.”_

_Zuko felt his cousin’s body shift and lifted his head; both Iroh and Lu Ten were moving to sit up from the sand. Iroh placed a comforting hand on Ursa’s shoulder, saying, “It’s alright if Azula is tired and wants to go to sleep. She’s a growing girl, she needs her rest.” He finished the statement by turning to look at his niece over his shoulder, flashing her a warm smile._

_“I’m not tired,” Azula grumbled, crossing her arms. “I just think this is idiotic.”_

_Before anyone could respond, Zuko saw the tell-tale flash of silver at the water’s edge. “The grunion! They’re here!” he shouted, scrambling to his feet and running towards the ocean. Iroh, Lu Ten, and Ursa followed him. If they laughed a little too loud or exchanged awkward glances a little too frequently, Zuko didn’t notice. He glanced back at the beach hut once, to see Azula standing in the doorway studying her fingernails._ Whatever, if she doesn’t want to have fun, that’s her problem, _he thought viciously, before plunging his hands down into the mass of fish.)_

“Zuko, you coming?” Suki asked, reaching a hand down to help him up. Zuko stared at it for a second, as if he didn’t know what to make of it, before grasping it and allowing the woman to yank him up to his feet. Katara and Sokka were arguing over who had won, and Aang and Toph were racing across the beach towards them.

“Aw man, I can’t believe you guys had a fight without me!” Toph complained. 

“Katara started it!” Sokka grumbled. He cowered away as Katara bent a water whip from the ocean that snapped at his ankles, then everyone got distracted by the fish that had been caught up in the whip. A delicate peace settled over the group, and they continued walking down the beach until they got to the end of the run, which was near the end of the Fire Lord’s property. Beyond that, they could see the light from dozens of campfires, and hear the chatter and laughter from other beachgoers. Without breaking their stride or conversation, the gang turned around back the way they had come.

_(Zuko collapsed to his knees, drawing in breath after ragged breath. He stared longingly at the dim flicker of light from the campfires of other families, comparing it to the cold, dark beach house. He had sprinted the length of the grunion run, ignoring the shouts of the servants who had been instructed to watch them. He wanted to be alone._

_“You’re so dramatic, ZuZu,” Azula drawled, jogging up behind him. She didn’t sound out of breath, and Zuko bet that when he looked at her, her hair and clothes would be perfect. Not like him, in his rumpled robe and his phoenix tail half unraveled. Rather than look, he lowered his head into his hands._

_“We shouldn’t have come,” he murmured, squeezing his eyes shut to keep back the tears threatening to spill down his face. “Not without her.”_

_“I mean, you’re not wrong,” Azula shrugged, sounding bored. “It’s a stupid tradition, and it’s ridiculous that Mother made us come every year. I would have thought we’d be free of it once she was gone, but—”_

_“Don’t talk about her like that!” Zuko cried, half twisting in the sand to glare at his cruel, cold sister. “It hasn’t even been a year, how could you?” The brief burst of passion trickled away, and he slumped back down into the sand. He turned towards the ocean, towards the fish that had defied everything the world intended a fish to be. They had no legs, no lungs, nothing that would let them survive out of the water. And yet year after year they flung themselves up into the sand, burrowing their eggs and hoping that the next high tide would bring the new generation back to where they belonged._

_Azula was silent for so long that he was sure she had gone back to the beach house without him. After a few minutes he took a deep, wobbly breath, and slowly got to his feet. When he turned around, his sister was still standing behind him. She was also staring at the fish, occasionally prodding one with the toe of her sandal, but otherwise leaving them alone. There was a soft look on her face, one that he hadn’t seen in a long time. It vanished the second that she saw he was looking, to be replaced with the usual aloof stare that looked so unnatural on a nine-year-old._

_“If you’re done whining, we should head back,” she said, already turning that direction. He noticed that, though she sounded irritated with him, she walked next to him the whole way back, her eyes flickering to the wave of fish every now and then.)_

They stayed on the beach the whole night. Even after Zuko thought that everyone would get tired of it, that the magic of it would fade away, nobody could bring themselves to go inside and go to sleep. Aang lit a campfire in the designated pit on the beach. The six of them huddled around the fire, squashed together in a semicircle because nobody wanted to turn their back on the grunion. At some point, Suki and Katara disappeared inside the house, returning with everybody’s’ sleeping bag. About two hours after the run had started, the fish began to retreat back to the ocean. This got everyone’s attention, and they all stood up and ran back down to the sand to watch the last of the fish. Aang was waving both arms wildly and yelling goodbye, and one by the one the others joined him. Even Zuko couldn’t help raising one arm and waving shyly. He noticed that his face was starting to hurt, and with a jolt he realized that it was because he was smiling so broadly. For a second, he was five years old again, standing on the beach and watching the grunion disappear into the ocean, squished between his mother and his sister, with Lu Ten standing firm behind them. Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes.

A body slammed into his back and he was suddenly embraced in a full body hug. “Thank you Zuko, that was amazing!” Aang yelled, bending back until the younger boy somehow managed to lift him a few inches off the sand. Zuko yelped, his arms pinned against his sides. That got the attention of the rest of the gang, who all joined in on the hug. Suddenly, Zuko was surrounded by warm arms and a chorus of “thank you’s.” He could feel his face heating up as he mumbled out something in the neighborhood of “you’re welcome.” One by one, they peeled away from him, although Aang still had a hand resting lightly on his shoulder. Looking down, Zuko could see Toph still clinging to his other arm. As though she could sense him staring at her, she reared back, muttering, “What? It’s cold!” before settling back against him. 

Without the fish to entertain them, everyone quickly set about preparing their sleeping bags to sleep out on the beach. Zuko couldn’t quite remember anyone deciding that they were going to do so, but he wasn’t going to argue. They settled themselves in a loose circle around the campfire. Zuko put his hands behind his head and gazed up at the stars and the moon, listening to the quiet squabbling between Katara and Toph about if it was time to sleep or not meld with the sound of waves crashing on the beach. 

_(Zuko refused to go inside until the grunion had finished their run. Azula joined in his protest, and when Lu Ten backed them up his mother relented. She set out a row of four beach chairs facing the ocean, though Azula had almost immediately climbed into Zuko’s lap. She had insisted that she wasn’t tired, but it wasn’t long before her eyes began to drift close, and soon she was snoring softly. Zuko could also feel his eyelids drooping, but he was positive that five years old was_ definitely _old enough to stay up past midnight. He stared at the shoreline until the last of the fish disappeared into the surf before his chin dropped down to his chest, and he was fast asleep.)_

**Author's Note:**

> Grunion runs are real and magical! They're only in California and Baja, and they happen both at the full and new moon. If you live near the ocean and want a fun socially distant activity, they are happening RIGHT NOW and you should go check them out!
> 
> Talk to me on my tumblr [@praetorqueenreyna](https://praetorqueenreyna.tumblr.com/)


End file.
